So my Zyprexa experiment only worked for one day. I ended up wigging out at work again last night and doing something really fucking stupid. I won't go into details other than to say it wasn't work related and I am still employed. And this leads me to my new declaration and a new sort of "experiment" if you will...
NO MORE DRAMA.
A friend of mine said to me something that hit me like a ton of bricks. He said that I need to stop perpetuating my own drama. Duh. As simple a statement as that wasn't able to get through my head until recently. I have CONTROL over whether or not I participate in, start or further drama. What a concept. I haven't utilized this control at all for a while. It's like I forgot I had it. But in the end all I can control is MYSELF. I make my choices. I dictate my reactions and responses if any. I have the power of choice. I have the power of control. So I am going to take that power and use it. And my first use is going to be to STOP perpetuating drama. To STOP participating in drama. To STOP creating drama.
As of today I declare myself a DRAMA FREE ZONE.
I will keep my personal drama to myself or express it in non dramatic ways if it needs expression. I will not entertain anyone else's drama. I will not perpetuate drama from the past. I will leave it be. And I sure as damn well hell will not create any new drama. I am too tired and too old to be dealing with dramatic crap. Even though I've been the one creating it lately. So time to grow up. Stop the drama. Stop the drama. Stop the drama.
Today I stop the drama.
PS - If you are reading this (you know who you are) I apologize for all of the drama I have caused and perpetuated in your life. I am truly sorry. I mean this post and I will do my damn best to stick to it for me. And maybe somewhere down the road we can reconnect and be drama free. Take care of yourself and know that I miss you.