Last night I went with my roommate to meet some of his friends to go see The Rocky Horror Picture Show at the Tennessee Theater. I should mention that I also FINALLY got a haircut yesterday evening. And it looks really good. It is what I wanted and I got complimented on it by other friends after the show at Rodger's. Anyway...
I had never met any of my roommate's friends. He introduced me by my male name rather than the nickname he met me by to friend number one we met on the street who would take us to the rest of the group. We got to the restaurant and met the rest of the group and I was again introduced by my male name. Things seemed to be going well. Except for one hitch...the woman sitting across from me kept referring to me with female pronouns. The rest of the group was using male pronouns. Having never met these people before, I wasn't sure how to handle this situation exactly. So I let it slide. I am definitely still not used to correcting people. Especially people I don't know. I need to work on this.
Later when we got to the theater, one of the guys bought me a beer since I had no cash and it was a cash only bar. He said, "and whatever SHE wants." Strike two. We get into the auditorium and he has never been there and asks where the restroom is. I offer to show him (I had to go too) and he seemed just a bit weirded out when I followed him into the men's room. Oh well. Maybe he got the point then.
I sent my roommate (who was sitting next to me) a text saying, "I think I am confusing your friends. Getting mixed pronouns and not sure what to do about it." He responded that the first friend we met on the street apparently bitched out the woman sitting across from me at the table at dinner over the female pronouns. Interesting.
So while it seems that I am passing more and more these days, I am still confusing some. I had a woman this last week who I met with other friends down in Atlanta make a comment on my short hair (I was introduced by my male name). She said I would look really good with long hair. I told her I am trans. She said, "Male to female?" And I wasn't exactly sure what to do with that. Though I took it as a compliment and explained that she had it backwards. She didn't care one way or another she just thought I was a cool person.
I think my "tell" is my mouth. I have very feminine lips and a beauty mark on the left side. Nothing I can do about that. Otherwise my hair and everything else says "man". The only other thing I could think is my voice. Not sure.
I feel like a sort of odd social experiment these days. Every time I go out (except to work) I wonder who will pick what. Who will choose which set of pronouns even though I give a male name and present as such. It is an interesting feeling. But at the end of the day I am just me. A man born into a female body doing his best to be true to himself despite his given limitations.
Side note: the show was kind of a flop. The projector bulbs fucked up twice and though there was a shadow cast, their timing was pretty off. Otherwise it was just fun to be around a bunch of goofy people screaming random shit at a screen and throwing various objects all over the place at the appointed time. Hurling toilet paper in an auditorium is a definite win in my book.